Every now and again I get referred to a fun site…and today I was contacted by Jeff a self proclaimed “Groomasaurus”…I went to his blog and came across an absolutely entertaining blog about “If only guys planned weddings”..

Here is his enlightening interpretation! Enjoy ladies…even if you don’t agree…it’s still a good entertaining read!


If only guys planned weddings …

by Jeff on June 23, 2009

… instead of the father giving the bride away, it would be our favorite pro athlete or musician (which we would later regret after we found out they tried to play tonsil hockey with our bride in the church foyer).

… the bride and groom’s mode of transportation would be a Ferrarri, which means we would actually be late to the ceremony because you can’t outrun a two-way radio.

… the reception meal would consist of steak, Budweiser and Twinkies.

… the lovely “Here Comes the Bride” music would be replaced by something like Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher” or another completely inappropriate song.

… the ceremony would take place in a barn, because we’d forget to book the church.

… the ring bearer would be our dog, Drillbit, who halfway down the aisle/barn floor would mistake the mother-of-the-bride’s hat for a woodland creature and lose the rings as he lunged for her head.

… our self-inscribed vows would be peppered with modifiers like “awesome,” “stoked,” and “killer.”

… the apparel of choice would be a denim version of dress casual.

… the invitations would be illegible missives scrawled on our “From the Desk of…” notepaper.

… every part of the service would conclude with high-fives among bridesmaids and groomsmen.

… the reception would last 24 hours, after which we would need to be removed by ambulance.

… the wedding colors would be surprisingly similar to those of our college alma mater.

… we’d recruit our best guy friends to help out, who would offer fabulous (i.e., ridiculous and self-serving) ideas like pot brownies instead of cake, see-through bridesmaid dresses and holding the reception on a floating casino.

… no women would attend, because they never liked going to our alcohol-soaked, wiener-fest frat parties in college in the first place, and the only difference between this and those sad galas is that now we’re older, heavier and have less hair. Not exactly an improvement.

Hopefully we wouldn’t be this bad, but you never know what happens when you put a bunch of guys together to plan something. You may get something with the spectacle and energy of the Olympic opening ceremonies. Or it may have all the spontaneity and drama of an office birthday party.

{post created by Jeff at Groomasaurus}

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  1. Hi, I like your blog! Found it on Search Engine when I was looking for wedding songs.


  1. […] See the rest here: Groomasaurus […]

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